Jesus May Not Love you

The Lottery: Letting Useless people buy RV's since 1964

Tue, 22 Mar 2011 00:59:20 -0400

U.S.A. Sports Teams For Sale

Mon, 11 Oct 2010 14:08:00 -0400

Louisiana Hurricane’s

New York New York’s

Oklahoma City Bomber’s

Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s

California Happy Cow’s

New Jersey Shores’

Arkansas Sauce’s

Hawaii 5.0’s

Kentucky Fried Chicken’s

Oregon Trail’s

Washington D.C.’s

Constipation: Gravity is against you

Mon, 11 Oct 2010 13:59:09 -0400

Domain Names I'm copyrighting

Wed, 07 Jul 2010 02:57:00 -0400

I will translate for those of you with lazy eyes/brains…

Whydoihavetogetoutofbedjusttogetbackintobedagainlater.com

(Why do i have to get out of bed just to get back into bed again later)

whydoihavetogetoutofbedperiod.com

(why do i have to get out of bed dot)

waititscalledaperiodnotadot.com

(wait its called a period not a dot (.com))

Stephencolbertistheonlyreasonidontkillmyself.com

Stephen Colbert is the only reason i don’t kill myself

lookatmeimontheinternet.com

(look at me I’m on the internet)

if you ever catch yourself watching "Whose Line is it Anyway?"

Tue, 29 Jun 2010 14:40:30 -0400

Mute Drew Carey when he explains what character Ryan Styles will play during Party quirks, News Flash, and/or Let’s make a date. Just so we’re clear on my level of dignity, or lack there of, I only knew the title of party quirks and you can thank Wikipedia for the rest. Uh oh did I get off track? What were we talking about again…

Seeeeeeeeeexxx

Tue, 22 Jun 2010 17:06:00 -0400

Okay I got it. As I sit here in my pornography and evolution class I have just realized that the Conservative-Moralistic perspective on porn, heavily influenced by GOD, basically proves that religion’s only purpose is to make sure no one enjoys anything pleasurable. So god’s like, okay here’s some ham, it tastes awesome so don’t eat it. Here’s a penis, it feels good when you put it in girls but don’t use it for anyone but your ugly wife and say a prayer before during and after you use it. Oh and here’s some music, Mormons, I’m sorry did I write Morons? oh no I didn’t okay good. Anyways, what? Oh yeah, don’t listen to music either. But wait! It’s okay because the most pleasurable thing you can do is kill people and that’s okay as long as you’re killing people that don’t believe what you do! NOW I GET IT

Uno Mas reason why I love America

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 03:22:51 -0400

http://www.ashleymadison.com/

HEY LIFES SHORT AND HERES A WEBSITE THATLL SEND YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL WHEN ITS OVER

Tequilla, the Blues, and why I LOVE AMERICA

Mon, 07 Jun 2010 22:07:00 -0400

Today I got a parking ticket for $150 dollars…I must have parked on Je$u$.

Another thing I discovered today: They now have Jean designed Diapers (I love America)

And lastly to close out my BLOG, I have decided that instead of learning CPR, a great number of our population should be licensed firefighters. Especially the military, I mean come on, Fire is obviously the Devil himself fighting a war with us.

P.s. I got electrocuted today

the only thing you can fix by hitting it is a child

Mon, 07 Jun 2010 05:35:20 -0400

Which reminds me, what does the saying “you can have your cake and eat it too” really mean? Like…why would you have cake if not to eat it? Like you can have your water and drink it too? But that doesn’t even work because you can even use water for others things…Cake is so damn specific. I hate sayings, whoever made them up are so bored, or fat …or something. “Who let the cat out of the bag?” Why was there a cat trapped in a bag? WHAT. “Get out of town” Well alright but can I stay in the country? whatever

Zep save my SOULL

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 18:11:06 -0400

Zep save my SOULL

Real World Strategies (not MTV)

Tue, 01 Jun 2010 19:09:00 -0400

I’m going to be a real person soon. You ARE NOT a real person until you make a decision. Apparently I’ve never really had the freedom to make one besides do I get J in the B or Mcdonalds Drunkenly at 2 am. As this “real person” I have decided to do the following in order to survive, and one day buy a helicopter so I can paint my face on it:

1. Change bullet points to number lists

2. Start using more impressive words such as: Impressive, Flattery, (Enter Dictionary.com and start studying the words of the day…… (Word of the day Tuesday June 1st 2010:

OLEAGINOUS-(Adj) 1. Having the nature or qualities of oil. 2. Containing Oil 3.Producing Oil. 4.Unctuous; fawning; swarmy

(this word isn’t really going to help you)(change of thought, my professor literally just said the oil spill is the greatest natur(e)al disaster of all time)

3. Stop wearing lip gloss, flip flops and hoodies
4. Start wearing Lip liner, Payless boots and cardigans
5. change Texting and outgoing call ratio from 80/20 to 40/60

B(F)ucket list

Tue, 25 May 2010 18:40:00 -0400

1. Watch Star Wars

2. Bobsled

3. Lose 240 pounds

4. Slap the shit out of Dustin Diamond

5. Get someone to read my blog

i like it

Thu, 13 May 2010 01:35:00 -0400

i like it

MY future black husband if all else fails! dope ass rhymes

Wed, 12 May 2010 00:21:45 -0400

MY future black husband if all else fails! dope ass rhymes

Audiogasm

Tue, 11 May 2010 18:44:42 -0400

Audiogasm

THE ONLY 2..AT THE CAR…WASH…about 22 years too late...

Tue, 11 May 2010 18:42:00 -0400

THE ONLY 2..AT THE CAR…WASH…about 22 years too late for my parents

BESSSSSSSSSST

Tue, 11 May 2010 18:32:21 -0400

BESSSSSSSSSST

Ca$h in that dollar for a cents of humor

Tue, 11 May 2010 18:30:00 -0400

TODAY I LEARNED THAT:

JAPAN loves to fuck robots …by the year 2020 they want a robot in every household. Gonna need something a little more intense than KY to lube up those rusty babes.
I lack the patience to sit through what seems like an eternity at the car wash…I’d rather have a dirty car than restless leg syndrome

pop my bloggy

Wed, 05 May 2010 18:29:23 -0400

I’m a first time blogger, and just like everything else I initially hated, I have decided to give it a chance. WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS! Well apparently you people like it…you like being told what to do DON’T YOU! well Ill tell you whats coool…

BLACK PEOPLE the color white

stephen colbert ~~Justin Beeeeboop~~

high waisted jeans unprotected sex

UNTIL NEXT TIME DRINK up ME HIGHDY YO HO ITS CINCO DE MEXICO BABIES

Photo

Tue, 04 May 2010 23:53:11 -0400